Things I Did And Didn't Do
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkstheboundsWhen Jamie Hamilton was sixteen years old, he might have gotten fed up with the quarrels his parents were having constantly about his future. He might have run away and lied about his age to get a job on the railroad running between his home city and London.
It might have been his first time away from Home, and although he might have had the occasional twangs of guilt about his parents, he might really have loved the adventure. He might have loved the work. He always did love trains, the speed and shine of them on the outside and the complicated twisty grinding of machinery going on inside, and he always liked seeing new places and talking to people, that was a real treat for him. It might have been a really good thing. Maybe he could see himself doing it forever – and forever would have seemed an awful long time to young Jamie Hamilton. A few decades at least.
After a year or so, having established a real place for himself, he might have gone home to tell his family that he wasn’t going to be a doctor or a greengrocer either, that both of those things bored him stiff, that he was going to stay with the railroad and see new places and have some fun with his life. He’d bring back some of his earnings when he was in town, and they ought to be pleased enough with that. His mum and dad might have ranted til their tongues fell straight out of their head but it might have been all right eventually, because at that point his sister Elsie might have declared that if Jamie was going to be stupid enough to throw away opportunity she wasn’t, and that she was going to become a doctor herself. Rob might have taken over the store. He might never have had the idea of going to Australia; it was a fool idea anyways, Rob was born to run that greengrocer’s shop.
Elsie might have studied and his parents might have grown quietly older and Rob might have started taking things on, and they all might have stayed in one place, with Jamie coming and going, and bringing back money when he did. He might not have been the most responsible boy, old Jamie Hamilton – he might not have ever learned to be, cushy setup he had going on for him when he was a boy– but he always did have a commercial mind, so it stands to reason he might have saved up a fair bit in the end to give to his parents. He might not have been such a great disappointment to them, once they’d had time to get used to him.
He might have met plenty of girls on the line, living his life of adventure, but he might never have been serious about any of them. It’s hard to imagine him being serious about a girl who didn’t have her hair in her face and a sharp temper and who hadn’t saved his life a time or two. Girls almost always wore their hair up, then. But Elsie would have married the youngest Macready boy sooner or later, and Jamie might have been a best man at their wedding. He might have been a brilliant uncle. Everyone loves the uncle who pops up every so often with a story to tell and then he’s off, and Jamie might have been one of that sort. It's true he might have been a bit of a bad influence, but not enough that Elsie would ever have gotten really cross with him. Besides, Elsie might have been a bit of a bad influence herself, with that temper of hers, so she might not have had any room to complain.
After a while he might have got bored with trains, running the same route all the time. He might have branched out. He might have met someone working with flight, trying to get planes in the sky. By that time he would have been a real grown-up person, work-hardened and calloused and maybe looking a bit like his dad – though mum and dad both might have been awfully old by then. His teeth probably would have been dreadful, but oh well, he might have had charm to make up for it. He was a good liar anyways, though he might never have really had to become a great one.
Being all grown-up like that, and having mostly done what he needed to do, having stuck things out, so to speak, Jamie might even have developed a bit more of what you’d call an assertive personality. He might have liked to keep moving, but that doesn’t mean he might have always been running away.
Anyways, he might have learned to fly a plane, might have found it a bit more exciting than riding the trains, though trains would have always been his first love. He might have got good enough at it that when the first Great War rolled around he might have signed up for the Royal Naval Air Service – or, no, he might have been too old then. It’s hard to imagine, that. If they’d reckoned flying was more a young man’s game, he might have gotten stuck with the infantry. He might have got married to some sweetheart before getting shipped out, after years of bachelordom, just to say he had. To have someone to write letters to, most likely.
Whether he was flying or on his own two feet, that might have been the first ever time he’d left England. He might have appreciated that, even with everything going on, getting to see a bit of France.
He might have made it out of the Great War. He might not have. He’d have been getting old after that, either way, and he probably wouldn’t make it too much longer, what with the coal in his lungs from the trains and the scrambling in his brain from the shellshock. He might have had a kid or two with the missus, or, if there was no missus after all, he might have gone to stay with Elsie and her husband when the end started approaching – always assuming her husband made it out too. Well, Elsie would have been a real doctor for ages by then, she could have fixed them up. Either way, it might not have been a bad end for old Jamie. He wouldn’t have had to be alone, is the thing.
When Jamie was twelve years old, he might not have gone exploring in a quiet bit behind the market.
But I did go exploring, and so I’m not that Jamie Hamilton who might have done all those things. Though I’ve ridden the rails, and been a brilliant uncle – with a couple of greats added on – and flown in flying machines, and fought in my fair share of wars, I’m not that Jamie Hamilton at all.
Sometimes, though, you can’t help but wonder.
It might have been his first time away from Home, and although he might have had the occasional twangs of guilt about his parents, he might really have loved the adventure. He might have loved the work. He always did love trains, the speed and shine of them on the outside and the complicated twisty grinding of machinery going on inside, and he always liked seeing new places and talking to people, that was a real treat for him. It might have been a really good thing. Maybe he could see himself doing it forever – and forever would have seemed an awful long time to young Jamie Hamilton. A few decades at least.
After a year or so, having established a real place for himself, he might have gone home to tell his family that he wasn’t going to be a doctor or a greengrocer either, that both of those things bored him stiff, that he was going to stay with the railroad and see new places and have some fun with his life. He’d bring back some of his earnings when he was in town, and they ought to be pleased enough with that. His mum and dad might have ranted til their tongues fell straight out of their head but it might have been all right eventually, because at that point his sister Elsie might have declared that if Jamie was going to be stupid enough to throw away opportunity she wasn’t, and that she was going to become a doctor herself. Rob might have taken over the store. He might never have had the idea of going to Australia; it was a fool idea anyways, Rob was born to run that greengrocer’s shop.
Elsie might have studied and his parents might have grown quietly older and Rob might have started taking things on, and they all might have stayed in one place, with Jamie coming and going, and bringing back money when he did. He might not have been the most responsible boy, old Jamie Hamilton – he might not have ever learned to be, cushy setup he had going on for him when he was a boy– but he always did have a commercial mind, so it stands to reason he might have saved up a fair bit in the end to give to his parents. He might not have been such a great disappointment to them, once they’d had time to get used to him.
He might have met plenty of girls on the line, living his life of adventure, but he might never have been serious about any of them. It’s hard to imagine him being serious about a girl who didn’t have her hair in her face and a sharp temper and who hadn’t saved his life a time or two. Girls almost always wore their hair up, then. But Elsie would have married the youngest Macready boy sooner or later, and Jamie might have been a best man at their wedding. He might have been a brilliant uncle. Everyone loves the uncle who pops up every so often with a story to tell and then he’s off, and Jamie might have been one of that sort. It's true he might have been a bit of a bad influence, but not enough that Elsie would ever have gotten really cross with him. Besides, Elsie might have been a bit of a bad influence herself, with that temper of hers, so she might not have had any room to complain.
After a while he might have got bored with trains, running the same route all the time. He might have branched out. He might have met someone working with flight, trying to get planes in the sky. By that time he would have been a real grown-up person, work-hardened and calloused and maybe looking a bit like his dad – though mum and dad both might have been awfully old by then. His teeth probably would have been dreadful, but oh well, he might have had charm to make up for it. He was a good liar anyways, though he might never have really had to become a great one.
Being all grown-up like that, and having mostly done what he needed to do, having stuck things out, so to speak, Jamie might even have developed a bit more of what you’d call an assertive personality. He might have liked to keep moving, but that doesn’t mean he might have always been running away.
Anyways, he might have learned to fly a plane, might have found it a bit more exciting than riding the trains, though trains would have always been his first love. He might have got good enough at it that when the first Great War rolled around he might have signed up for the Royal Naval Air Service – or, no, he might have been too old then. It’s hard to imagine, that. If they’d reckoned flying was more a young man’s game, he might have gotten stuck with the infantry. He might have got married to some sweetheart before getting shipped out, after years of bachelordom, just to say he had. To have someone to write letters to, most likely.
Whether he was flying or on his own two feet, that might have been the first ever time he’d left England. He might have appreciated that, even with everything going on, getting to see a bit of France.
He might have made it out of the Great War. He might not have. He’d have been getting old after that, either way, and he probably wouldn’t make it too much longer, what with the coal in his lungs from the trains and the scrambling in his brain from the shellshock. He might have had a kid or two with the missus, or, if there was no missus after all, he might have gone to stay with Elsie and her husband when the end started approaching – always assuming her husband made it out too. Well, Elsie would have been a real doctor for ages by then, she could have fixed them up. Either way, it might not have been a bad end for old Jamie. He wouldn’t have had to be alone, is the thing.
When Jamie was twelve years old, he might not have gone exploring in a quiet bit behind the market.
But I did go exploring, and so I’m not that Jamie Hamilton who might have done all those things. Though I’ve ridden the rails, and been a brilliant uncle – with a couple of greats added on – and flown in flying machines, and fought in my fair share of wars, I’m not that Jamie Hamilton at all.
Sometimes, though, you can’t help but wonder.
